http://www.myspace.com/twistedpeach13

http://www.myspace.com/beckyms

http://www.myspace.com/psychedelic_dreamer13

http://www.myspace.com/openbook

http://www.myspace.com/rebekah1725

http://www.yearbook.com/twistedpeach13

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=513161218

http://www.livejournal.com

http://msmusicalbecky.livejournal.com

http://beckyms1213.wordpress.com

http://rebekah1213.deviantart.com/

http://Rebekah1213.livejournal.com

http://becka1213.livejournal.com

http://tearsofdec.livejournal.com

http://surveybeck.livejournal.com

http://rebekah1213.blogspot.com/

http://hansonlover1213.blogspot.com/

[x] I’m single.
[] I’m taken.
[x] I’m straight.
[ ] I’m gay.
[ ] I’m bi.
[ ] I’m easy and sleazy
[] I do wear make up.
[x] When I walk by mirrors, I hate what I see.
[] I wear toe nail polish.
[x] I have cried at a movie theater.
[ ] I’ve purposely talked to a guy/girl my boyfriend/girlfriend didn’t like.
[x] I love chocolate covered pretzels.
[ ] I’ve wrecked a car.
[] I can’t put mascara on without opening my mouth.
[x] I’d basically do anything for that special guy
[x] I get jealous easily
[x] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.
[ ] I’ve gotten expelled.
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I like rock.
[ ] I like death/grind/black metal.
[] I like rap.
[X] I like techno.
[x] I like country.
[] I carry a purse
[ ] I’d be lost without my cell phone
[ ] I’d be lost without my mp3/CD player/iPOD.
[x] I own/did own a Spice Girls CD.
[] I own/did own a Britney Spears CD.
[x] I own/did own a boy band CD.
[ ]I don’t get bored watching football.
[ ] I love athletic boys.
[ ] I love skater guys
[?] I love punk guys.
[ ] I love gangsta guys. (Ok more like mobster)
[ ] I love scene guys.
[X] I love gothic guys.
[?]I love geeky guys.
[ ] I love country guys.
[X]I love guys that are just themselves. No matter what style
[x] Guys are confusing
[x] I’ve been called a tease.
[x] I’ve been called a bad influence.
[x] Lip gloss is better than lipstick.
[ ] I can’t leave the house without makeup.
[x] I play video games, even when there are other people around.
[x] My friends are the best.
[x] I would do anything for my friends.
[x] I have an addiction.
[ ] I drink way too much.
[] I want a tattoo.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[] I have piercings.

Aspiration Survey

$$Fortune$$[ ] Material things mean a lot to you.
[] The reason you try hard in school is so you are very successful.
[ ] Your parents push you to become very wealthy.
[ ] You already live in a moderately-rich climate.
[X] You have a job.
[] Money is better than love.
[X] You want to own your own business.
[X] You go shopping at least once a week.
[ ] You own a car.
[X] One day you hope to have a very nice house and car.

Fortune: 4

Knowledge: 6

Family: 3

Romance: 2

Popularity: 5

Creativity: 8

Love: 7

Kindness:7

Adventure: 6

Beauty: 1

OVERALL Total: 49

(I have always been the older sister, except for the first 18 months of my life. I have always been the responsible one, the reliable one, the understanding one, and the example everyone uses.)

My 23 year old brother and I have always been really tight. We usually can tell when each other is down and we have ways of working out things together. We also have each other’s back. I’ll be honest I believe that my parents divorce only made our bond even closer.

Anyway I don’t what has been going on with my brother lately other than his P.O. being an unorganized asshole. (His case is a really long story and someday maybe I’ll get the time to post something about it online.)

Back to my brother, I just don’t know what has gotten into him. He has this amazing touch with electronics, so his friend M. wanted him to fix an X-box. I remember in May M told me to have my brother fix and then use it, basically saying if you fix it, it’s yours. However my brother’s another friend D said that the X-box was his after he gave it back to M. (They traded it over some bike. However in the end both things were busted and they both forgot about it. Until my brother fixed the X-box)

Then D had to get M involved even when M lives over 300 miles away.

(I tried to stay out of it, until someone called me a lair. I’ve had a lot of things happen to me, but I don’t lie to anyone. I will admit I have lied a few times in my youthful life, and I always got caught and I always got in trouble. . . I learned there is no point to lie and if I’m told the truth then life runs smoother.)

D still got the X-box, it wasn’t working when my brother was done with it, but D still took the X-box home. D also got my friend G involved and I have a feeling G will not be around the house as much anymore. This is pissing me off.

I am also upset that whenever my brother gets mad, he and his friend B go out and buy alcohol. They got so fucked up last night that my brother I know is injured today and he also threaten D on the phone last night. My brother has this unbelievable high IQ, but you could never tell it by the way he acts. I think he’s going to lose a friend maybe more over a stupid X-box.

I don’t understand why exactly all is happened or what is going to happen because of this.

I will be honest. . . I’m glad M isn’t mad at me anymore (long story.) I also think that if D always get his way he’ll lose more friends and girlfriends than he thinks. I also he will learn nothing in life about respect and deserving the things he earns. He has always been a rich kid who has always gotten whatever he wanted, and now that he is over 21 he really needs to know what it feel like to earn everything on his own. I admit before I got my latest job I did get money for mom or grandma, but I earn my money. I would do things around the house and help out with the budget of bills and grocery shop and such. There is never a day I don’t just lay around and do nothing. (unless I am sick)

As for my brother, he is really worrying me that he is pushing everyone away and I’m not exactly sure why. What also amazes me is how many of brother’s friends can stay to be alone. . . that fansicates me.

Anyway, I have learned don’t count your chicken before they hatch even if you deserved and earn them. I was expecting 34 hours in my paycheck instead I got 18 hours. When I talked to my boss, he looked at me like I went off the deep end. He claimed that I’m only missing 6 hours. I know better; I know I am missing 16.

 Now it is up to me today to prove that to my boss, I have the scheduled hours that I worked and the hours I felt I did not get paid for. (I was disappointed that I didn’t get holiday pay, but I did get the hours I worked on that day: so I can’t fight that damn it!)

My schedule for this week is

(Saturday)Today 4-10

Monday 9-1

Tuesday 4-10

 Wednesday 8-4

Saturday 3-10

My boss said I was only suppose to have two days a week, but my numbers have been so high I think he wants me to work more. Or maybe more people want more days off, either way: I like more money, but I hate the fact that now I really feel I have no life. All I wanted was 20 hours a week, and this week I’m making 25. I just I shouldn’t complain: it is good money, but it always happens when I meet someone. . . or want to meet someone, doesn’t it?

My work schedule is frustrating me, but I’m afraid if I ask for fewer hours that my boss is going to let me go, corner me with only 10 hours or make my life a living hell. So for a while I will work these dreaded hours, because I really need tne money to help pay for my brother’s court costs while he’s getting his GED. (I am trying to keep him out of trouble, but that is another blog.)

September Work Schedule so far

There are no 20′s in our drawer or you’ll get fired.

Don’t always use the universal card.

Maybe I’m not as much of a people person as I thought.

You can check in too early.

You don’t want to have to count the drawer yourself.

Turn the door off, before you wash it.

I have a feeling I’m going to screw up somewhere.

There is another customer.

“How much are the photos?” (Note: the HUGE SIGN was in front of them.)

“My coupon is expired, can I still use it?”

What if I don’t get everything done?

I may not get holiday pay because I’m not offically an employee. I have a register number, and they seen my SSN so many times they probably have it memorized by now. I had to write it on almost 10 different pieces of paper. What does the union protect me from anyway? Discrimination? If I don’t get holiday pay, I will feel discriminated.

What if I forget to card someone and I sell cigarettes to a minor?

You’ll be working night, but may I may call you in. . . I’m waiting for the first time he’ll call me in. More than likely If I go in, he’ll constantly call me in and my part time job with easily turn full time. I don’t want that. (I want my writing to be my full time job.)

I haven’t done a full night at my job by myself yet, myabe it will be different. Tomorrow I start the job on my own. Just the manger, with me. We’ll see.

I’ve been trying to budget my grandmother’s bills for months. There is always a bill she doesn’t tell me about or she’ll spend the money and not tell me. (I mean how can you pay a bill if you have no money, right?) So at first, I’ll calmly handle these companies on the phone. I will explain we’ll get the money on this date or so on and so on, and that usually works for the most part. However I had a plan worked out with two companies, and the money is spent. ERRRRRR.

I’m grateful that my mother told me this morning before I called the company. However, we still need to get money for this bill by next week. I don’t get paid until next Friday and they want the money by next Tuesday. Maybe I can call and explain the situation. . . I’ll be honest that just depends on the teller whether they would give me a three day window. We could as my uncle, but the gates of hell may open up if they do that.

My mom used to bail my grandmother out. I have bills of my own, I can’t afford to bail my grandmother out. I have a lawyer to pay off. I have to help my brother pay off his court case and I still want to save for a cell phone and a car.  My grandmother needs to realized that she has bills that need to be paid before she goes to Bingo. I also hope my mother gets a job soon.

I was calm this morning, but turned into a wannabe rationalizing bitch real fast when my mother said if I didn’t want to bail my grandmother out then I could move out. It’s not that I don’t want to help my grandmother out, I do. However I have bills of my own that have to be paid. I also have my brother’s bills to be paid or my mother’s precious son could go back to jail. ERRRR.

So we were yelling and in the mist of all the yelling, complaining, whining, and bitching, I realize we couldn’t find the money order for the mortgage, so we are still looking for that. we called the bank to see if we could cancel the money order and re write it, but they don’t know yet. I’ll call and look again tomorrow.

It’s funny my horoscope which I usually look at for fun said I was going to have money troubles today. Wow, for like the tenth time it was right.

However that is the relationship my mom and I have we could bitch at each other one moment and be best friends the next. I don’t know how she puts up with me–with her I just roll my eyes a lot. LOL.

I had a dream last night that I was at my dad’s house. My step-mother was taking a nap. She told me not to leave the house, so what did I do. . . I left. (I’m sorry; I’ve always had a deviant side.)

Anyway, I walked to this local school to see the pastor’s wife directing a play with the kids. My father was sitting the second row on the left side in the middle of all parents watching their kids at rehearsal. The pastor’s wife said I wasn’t supposed to be there, but she needed my help. She wanted me to sit on the right side the first seat in the second row. I sat down as my father saw me and gave me an evil glare with eyes of anger.

My twelve year old brother had a huge role, but for some reason he wasn’t performing well. He seemed spacey and just out of it- no focus. He asked to be excused. I followed him.

He ran into the bathroom. I stood by the door. He said he couldn’t pee- he hasn’t be able to pee for days now. It hurts when he tried to pee. Nothing would come out. He was crying, but he acted like he was trying to be bigger than this.

I told him lets go to the doctor except the doctor said that it was all in his head. I said no it had a stone blocking his urine. They did an x-ray and I was right. Then I woke up.

Sept. 6, 2007

 I had a dream last night almost right as I got into a deep sleep. I dreamt that I tried to run from my life. The faster I would run, the faster I would get pulled into my endless black pit of life.

The more problems I realized I had, the more I would fall. I would try to climb out and run, but it was like I had a string on me and I would get pulled back in. (I’m in a job that I can’t stand. The coworkers are nice, and I’ve only had one really annoying customer so far, but nothing feels right.)

I see debt as this guy in my dream was burning money and laughing. His hair looked like he put his finger in a light socket. I saw chains against this wall, and just black water. I don’t remember if I fell into the water or not.

I woke up this morning and my world went to hell.

1. My boss tells me that I may not get holiday pay because I’m still on probation. Damn it, I’m probably won’t get Halloween too, if I am still there.

2. My grandma keeps spending money she doesn’t have and we’re in debt yet again. However we are pink slipped with the gas company and if we don’t pay $200 by the 11^th they will turn us off. I had the budget perfect until my grandma used 50 dollars she didn’t have and I have no idea what I am supposed to do. We also have to pay the electric and we have nothing. AHHHHHH!

  3. I also lost the money order for the mortgage and I have a migraine so I have no idea how to remember where I put it. We had a city-wide power-outage.   

I had dreamt about getting this cat and it likes my grandma who wants nothing to do with it. The new cat is homesick and keeps crying which makes my grandma complain or it hisses at me. ERRRR!

  Will life get better?